The Dragon’s Are Singing

“If you don’t believe in dragons,
It is curiously true
That the dragons you disparage
Choose to not believe in you.”
– Jack Prelutsky

This past month Owen and I got the pleasure to attend our first play together. Since it was all about dragons I knew that Owen would love it… more importantly… I figured that it would “probably” hold his attention and he would stay seated the whole time.  Secretly… it was the perfect opportunity for me to test my sons patience.

So… we got dressed up (a rarity in our house)… headed downtown… and took our seats.

Ever since Owen was old enough to talk… he has loved dragons.

I am not sure if it’s their scaly skin… their mysteries eyes… their ability to fly… or their scary facade.

But… when he is not watching dragon movies…  (“How to Train Your Dragon” or “Dragon Hunter’s”)

we are crawling around on all fours…

breathing fire…

hatching beautiful eggs…

and flying off the couches… yes that is right I said “flying” off my couches.

While jumping off of my furniture can get a little old… I love encouraging Owen’s imagination and playing pretend. When we are not pretending to be in a mythical pack… we are using our hands and doing arts and crafts.

Seeing as I was raised by an artist, I have always thought that creativity is such an important piece in a child’s development.

I love watching Owen’s face light up when he tells stories and makes up tales.

I love watching his pudgy little hands bend… fold… and glue feathers to paper.

I love seeing his brain in action when he pauses for a moment… looks off into space… and says “and then…”

Most of all…

I love being a part of it all.

I love believing that there is magic out there…

“Once they all believed in dragons
When the world was fresh and young.
We were woven into legends,
Tales were told and songs were sung,
We were treated with obeisance,
We were honored, we were feared,
Then one day they stopped believing –
On that day, we disappeared.

Now they say our time is over,
now they say we’ve lived our last,
Now we’re treated with derision
Where we once ruled unsurpassed.
We must make them all remember,
In some way we must reveal
That our spirit lives forever –
We are dragons! We are real!”

– Jack Prelutsky

Owen remained seated throughout the play… and aside from his loud banter and pretend screams in terror… he did very well and loved every minute of it.

We actually enjoyed the dragon play so much that we decided to make dragons for our arts and crafts projects later on in the week with Kyle (Bryan and I’s old college roommate) while he was in town.

We threw all of our materials out on the kitchen table and dug in.

We had a lot of fun making our dragons… and in no time Owen was running around the house snarling and flying like a dragon.

Life At The Prairie’s

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go”. – Dr. Seuss

Life.

Life takes you on this crazy ride… filled with bumps…with turns… and with dead ends.

These past couple of months have been filled with all of those three things… forcing me to think outside of the box and figure out what exactly my “role” is in this crazy world.

Ever since Bryan died, I have been afraid to move on… afraid to get a job… afraid to go back to school… afraid to make my own decisions and take charge… afraid to be me.

I know that this may sound weird, but I felt like if I got a job or changed my lifestyle… that I would be officially moving on… officially changing the life that Bryan and I once shared together.

I would no longer be the person that he knew… I would be going to interviews we never talked about together… wearing clothes he never saw me in… and hanging out with people he never heard me talk about.

For the past two years I have not had the courage to be anything else but a mom… the role that Bryan last saw me in… the role that I know best.

After Bryan’s two year death anniversary I decided that I needed to start making some changes… not just for me… but for Owen… for our future.

I need a retirement fund… We need good health insurance… I need to feel like I am making a good life for my son.

It was evident that Owen and I needed to stop living day to day and that we had to strive for more… strive for a better future… and although he is not here… one that still has pieces of Bryan in it.

On October 10th, I started working again. After two and a half years of being a stay at home mom… all that Owen has ever known me as… I decided to try to be a little more.

Luckily my fathers company was nice enough to take me on freelance as their copy editor and social media writer… allowing me to work from home and maintain a flexible schedule.

While it is nice to be back in the “working” world… working from home has added a very interesting dynamic to our lives. I spend 24 hours a day… seven days a week… being Owen’s main source of entertainment and play buddy.

In between making him meals and playing with him… I find myself rushing to my computer to get a few sentences typed before he comes upstairs to distract me. While he is adjusting more to mommy working upstairs on the computer… he is still having a hard time being independent.

Hopefully, 2012 is going to bring some good… but hard changes to our lives. I started looking at preschools and have been applying to more and more full-time… out of the house… jobs. I know that it is going to be hard to be away from Owen and not spend the day playing with him… but I need to stop being selfish and start securing a future for us.

But in the mean time… we are going to enjoy spending our time together watching movies… doing arts and crafts… playing trucks… and cuddling.

Owen and I decided that we were going to try to make Monsters today….

This was the first time that Owen had ever used scissors so it was kind of a big deal!

After I finally got the scissors away from him… Owen glued on his cut out shapes and bedazzled them with glitter.

This was Mommy’s version of a monster!

This was Owen’s version of a Monster! Very impressive.

The Giving Tree

“Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy.” – Shel Silverstein, The Giving Tree

Ever since Owen was a small child, he has always loved books.

Owen doesn’t just look at the pictures and pretend to read…

He becomes a part of the story…

He becomes a part of the book.

Earlier this morning, while he was pulling all of the books off of his shelf, I decided that we were going to try something new today. Instead of just reading his books, we were going to pick out a special one and turn it into the theme of the day.

After much consideration… Owen decided on “The Giving Tree” by Shel Silverstein.

For those of you that knew Bryan, Owen’s father, you are probably thinking that this particular book was a very interesting choice on Owen’s part…

and here’s why…

When Bryan was little he loved Shel Silverstein. Not only did he love his stories and his poetry, but he loved the way that he would illustrate. Bryan’s favorite book was “Where the Sidewalk Ends” and when he passed away we wrote … “We will see you again where the sidewalk ends” on his headstone.

So… after the initial shock of the book that Owen had chosen wore off, we decided to spend the day doing arts and crafts and working on our “giving” manners. Owen and I printed off an image of a bare tree and decided to give the tree beautiful leaves.

At first…. Owen carefully dipped his fingers into the paint and created leaves on the bare branches.

After a few minutes of being meticulous… Owen went crazy and got out his paint brush and water cup. Owen’s tree quickly went from bare to looking like it was in the middle of a bad tornado.

After a little convincing, Owen decided to work patiently on a tree with me and we created our own version of the Giving Tree.

All in all today was a huge success and we got to spend the day using our imaginations and talking about Bryan. While Owen did not fully grasp what the word “giving” meant… he did spend the day

dragging the dog around the house “giving” her a walk…

shaving his crayons down to stubs, “giving” my bedroom a makeover…

and of course

driving his mother to crazy town… “giving” her his undivided attention and love.