Relax and Breathe

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”   – Leo Buscaglia

This past month has been filled with lots of ups and downs. Something that Owen and I have become very used to.

Since this winter has been so warm, Owen and I have been plagued with various colds and flu’s… which has caused us to be crabby, irritable and very lazy. We have spent most of February cooped up at home…watching movies… and taking naps.

Oddly enough, through it all… I came to the self-realization that I still have some PTSD surrounding Bryan’s death and that I have an intense protection shield over Owen.

Whenever Owen gets sick or is not acting like himself (by this I mean bouncing on the furniture and running around like a crazed monkey) I automatically start internally freaking out and thinking that I am going to lose him too… then the waterworks start to come.

This past month when he had a high fever and was lethargic I went into my crazy mom zone again and started panicking. I called my parents and my in-laws… I cried uncontrollably… and I held/rocked Owen like he was a tiny baby all over again.

And then it happened… my perfect… beautiful… wise… sick… little boy looked up at me with his glossy half shut eyes… put his clammy hands on my face… and said…

“Stop crying mommy. I am alright”

In that moment I realized that the person I should be taking care of  was taking care of me. My two-year-old son.

Owen and I have a special bond… a bond that not many people can say that they have with their children. We take care of each other.We are each others “person”.

While most days I have a hard time playing the good guy and the bad guy… he knows that I am his boss and as he told me the other day…

“mom… you are my best friend.”

While our lives might seem chaotic and unorganized… because trust me, most days they are… we have a unique relationship. One that transcends everything else in this crazy world. We love… we play… we understand.. and we respect one another.

In many ways…

Owen is my best friend too!
So.. today… in between eating and snuggling we pretended that we were on a beach and played in the “sand”….


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